Postumus

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:47:43 GMT

We have moved

Caucus!!

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 17:10:01 GMT

So the U of M cancelled evening classes to encourage caucus participation. All three of MN's major parties plus the Green Party held University district caucuses in U buildings. The University paper "MN Daily" reported that 40 people attended the Republican caucus, the 'crats attracted 45, and the Greens 25. according to www.mndaily.com I was one of ten at the Independence Party caucus. That sounds about right.

The caucus was mainly run by two guys-- one was the chairman of State Legislative district 59A, a big guy who looks like he could be a stand-in for Ventura-- shaved w/ a goatee, and he did mention something about being shoved out of an airplane with a pack of matches and a compass. The other was a guy from 59B, Ron Lieshied, a guy I've voted for a few times. He runs for something every year. I was really impressed by the quality of his campaign materials-- two different tabloid-style newspapers touting himself and his views. They were unusually well-done-- his materials were even better than the parties, if you ask me. his website== www.paparon.org

After the Pledge of Alliegence, and a short recruitment drive, we voted on officers and delegates for the State convention for our respective legislative districts. Everyone who was interested got to do what they wanted, and because I was the only one other than Ron who was from 59B, the pressure was on. "Being the district chair is easy, you don't have to even do anything if you don't want to..." was the last appeal. I stayed strong, because I don't think the IPMN is quite the right fit for me.

IPMN candidate for governor Peter Hutchinson stopped by to give a small speech. It was good, but it reminded me of the Kuchinich campaign stop to which Soren brought me a few years ago. A well-rehearsed, well-delivered speech seems vauguely out of place to a such small audience. He asked for questions, and I asked him if he would be working with some of the members of Ventura's administration-- they well a good group. "Everyone of them", he said. He said that was the best thing Ventura did-- surround himself with competent, get-things-done type folks.

In Minnesota, we have a Political Contribution Refund-- an individual can be reimbersed for contribuions up to $50 for parties and candidates that agree to certain campaign finance restrictions. The Constitution Party doesn't participate, so for the last three years I've been using it for the IPMN. We also have check-offs for the Major parties on our State tax returns-- $5 directed to the party of your choice, without affecting your refund or obligation. I think that's what has kept the IPMN afloat after Tim Penny's loss, and anyone who supports third party politics should participate.

The caucus lasted not quite an hour and a half, and it was somewhat anti-climactic after Hutchinson's speech. No stance were taken on any real issues-- the war, immigration, crime, education. No, I don't think the party is quite for me, but I wish them well. Hutchinson would make a fine governor. His website== http://www.openupmn.com/

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 17:34:23 GMT

I first went to a political convention in summer of 1998. I was a board member of my local community association, and a fellow board member was an active Reform Party member. She convinced me to go as an alternate delegate, and I carpooled with the Republican State Senate nominee.

It was a crowded convention, very interesting to say the least. Being a stranger in a strange land, I sat in the back of the auditorium. Awhile later, a latecomer sat a few empty seats away—Jesse Ventura.

The party nominated him for Governor, and he said a few words, and left. The most contentious issue that day was if it was a good idea to ban co-nominations. Jesse was in favor of “standing on our own two feet”. This was bad news for my ride, because he was hoping to be endorsed by the Reform party that day.

“I’m way more reform that that guy”, I remember him sighing about the eventual State Senate nominee, who was generally considered a libertarian flake.

When we broke up in small groups for lunch, I got to sit with Steve Minn, who at the time was a Minnneapolis City Councilman, and a few other minor noteworthies whose names I’ve lost. The Hennepin County Attorney General candidates made their rounds—Rep. Jim Ramstad’s sister was one, and current MN Senate candidate Amy Klobachar was the other. I had been seeing her around for years, at various small community gatherings—I think she starting campaigning as soon as she turned 18.

Ventura went on to win a few months later, shocking the world. Man, those were the days. I still have a “Retaliate in ‘98” Ventura t-shirt, and I remain unrepentant.

But the national Reform Party collapsed a year later. The Perot faction never really liked the Libertarianism Ventura and his wing tended towards. At the same time, Pat Buchanan and other paleo-cons were forced out of the Republican Party by the globalist, war mongering, free-trade neo-cons like George W. Bush. They joined the Reform Party and managed to get Buchanan nominated.

The Perot faction backed Transcendental Meditation candidate John Hagelin as it’s “Stop Buchanan” candidate, and that’s for whom I ended up voting in 2000. Kind of embarrassing, six years later, but not as embarrassed as I would have been if I had voted for Gore or Bush.

Ventura called the RP “hopelessly dysfunctional”, and the MN party voted to disaffiliate. It reconstituted itself as the Independence party.

At the same time, the Buchanan wing of the national Reform Party left to form the America First Party, which I ended up joining as the war and the economy increasingly forced my views towards paleoconservatism (www.amconmag.com) sometime in 2003.

But that didn’t last long, because the MN America First Party folded months after I joined. Survivalist/Militia Leader Bo Gritz (the inspiration for Rambo, and the guy who negotiated the end of the Ruby Ridge standoff) was signed to speak at the national convention, and this caused an irreparable rift in the party. The pro-Gritz faction soon left to form the America’s Founding Fathers Party.

It almost makes one weep, doesn’t it?

So I joined the closest thing to a Paleocon party left, the Constitution Party of Minnesota. I went to a few events, and have met some interesting people. But it isn’t a perfect fit. Too much con and not enough Paleo. Just the same, most of them are antiwar, fair trade conservatives, and I’m not sure where else to turn.

All along I’ve been contributing to the IPMN, and voting for them when I can. So I didn’t feel too much like an infiltrator when I attended my local caucus last night.

This is post is getting way too long, so I will journal my observations tomorrow.

How much is enough?

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 17:54:29 GMT

I'm sitting in my favorite chair in my favorite cafe, in my favorite neighborhood, across the street from my favorite building.

I only worked half a day yesterday, and for someone who starts at 5:00am sharp that means I was on the road by 10:00. I went to the bank to deposit my student loan check, so now I'm feeling a little inflated. I also went to the University Library to check out the staged version of Henry IV. (two I, Claudius actors-- cool. Macbeth only had one!). Videotapes must be viewed on premises, so I brought a tub of popcorn (not really-- But I did have sushi).

Is watching the Shakespeare plays cheating? It makes the class so easy it sure feels like cheating.

I have a mid-term tonight that I'm only partially prepared for, and evolutionary biology has been quite challenging-- I'm going to have to step it up a notch. But I try to enjoy the challenge-- and I really like the U of M. I may change my mind about transfering to my local municipal university. I have an appointment with my advisor at the community college, Sub-Commander Wendutu Koleshaka, March 6th. There he will tell me the fastest way to get my degree. He also has access to a sizable sum in the Nigerian Central bank and wants my help to get it out.

Everything is on track-- everything is going according to plan.

If you think that I'm enjoying life right now, you're mostly correct. But the girl is starting to crack. Maybe she isn't cut out for the George Bernard Shaw type self-flagellation which I tend to these days.

Maybe she and I can just retire to the Pacific Northwest and run a dollar store. Forget about the bigger picture. And sit in my favorite chair in my favorite cafe, in my favorite neighborhood, across the street from my favorite building.

Loki!!!!!

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 18:32:58 GMT

Twilight of the Gods

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 18:17:57 GMT

Yesterday I picked up some software I bought from the University. As I walked throught the electrical engineering building, I was struck by the climate. Individuals doing real work-- putting real effort into learning how to do real things that will benefit their various countries.

You don't see that kind of industriousness at the college of human ecology.

I feel a little left out. I spent my young adulthood thinking that pursuing self-expression was the highest virtue. I wish I had seen virtue in pursuing a real profession.

That mirrors my girlfriend's experiences in her new job. Business administration is a fraud. In the technological research corporation where she works, those with a science degree are the ones with clout, and those with a business degree are the ones with supporting roles. And I can see that principle at work everywhere. And the ones with the business degree are the lucky ones-- there are plenty of "social science" majors working under me. And I don't even have a degree!!!!

But I think I'm too old to jump start the math and science part of my brain, and that's not what I want to do with my life anyways. I also don't want to get stuck in hospital middle management either.

I am on track to get a Business Administration degree-- That's a B.S. at the U of M, and I don't think that stands for Bachelor's of Science. I still feel that is the surest route to what I want to do with my life.

And what is that, exactly? It's hard to plan for your future when you believe that Gotterdammerung is due any day now. But any reasonable plan or scheme needs the credibility of an independently verifiable resume, not just flowery words and an interesting personal legend. Not to denigrate those things- flowery words have gotten me this far.

Facebook.

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 15:32:04 GMT

This facebook thing is a little unreasonable.

I signed up last fall, not really knowing what it was.

Today I looked at it and entered in my classes, and my whole flippin' class was in there!!

All 200 or so. Except my ex-gf. That would be trouble, wouldn't it?

Now, is there a way to enter in last years classes?

next steps:

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 18:49:47 GMT

I stopped in at the corner coffee shop before school last night. The owner asked me if the girl and I were going out to dinner for Valentine's Day.
"No, I have school, and so does she..".
"You two are living right"

I hope that's true. We both are running ourselves ragged, mortgaging our present for our future. I'm pretty sure I can take it, and I can only hope she holds up.

We kind of celebrated Valentine's day today. Holly made an elaborate breakfast, and I'm supposed to make an elaborate dinner. I'm thinking barbeque seitan sandwiches. I got her a small gift,a nd she already got me some Ikea stuff.

A simple flash and then life goes on.

I have been seeing the future with more clarity lately. That makes the present more endurable. I have an appointment early next month to go over my graduation plan with my academic advisor. It will be nice to have the next few semesters mapped out, so I know exactly what I need to do to meet me goal.

My lot survey came back, and so next I have an appointment in March with the city planner.

The road goes ever on....

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 14:03:09 GMT

Perhaps my emptiness gets a reprieve before being replaced.

My grandmother suffered a mild heart attack a day before her birthday. She was admitted to her regional hospital, so the surprise party has been postponed. We went up to visit with her anyway, and we actually got to spend more time with her than we would have otherwise. We arrived at about 6:00pm, and watched the olympics with her until visiting hours closed at 8:30pm. We stayed at a hotel in town, and stopped in for a brief visit the next morning on our way back.

When I moved away from home in 1992, I didn't look back. But for some reason, I contacted my grandparents three years later. I took the greyhound bus up north for a visit twice-- and my grandfather died shortly thereafter. Spending time with him before he died was one of my great successes.

At that time, I was experiencing some very tramatic psychic issues. Whether it was demonic in nature, or regular emotional/psychological issues, chemical addiction perhaps, or if it was in fact just a haunted radiator ala "eraserhead", the jury is still out. I talked with my Grandpa about it though, and his advice was very simple-- "You know how to do the right thing, and if you stay on the right path, you'll have nothing to worry about". Everything has seemed so much more clear since then.

At any rate, I visited my grandmother a couple times after my grandfather's funeral. All before I bought my house late 1997. I then lapsed again-- I didn't see her or my aunt for five more years-- until 2002, when they came over near the holidays.

I'm very glad I'm re-connecting with them again. Now I'll always remember watching the 2006 winter olympics with my grandma.

I missed my Mom by a few moments. She left just before we arrived. My siblings cancelled their plans to come up, so I didn't see them either. My brother called me, though, and my youngest sister called my grandma to wish her well.

Maybe I can coordinate with my siblings another trip to see my grandma. That would be a good start for doing my part to reconstitute my family.

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 16:20:50 GMT

Emptiness waits

Everything is empty

Emptiness is everything

And it waits

Routine

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:34:11 GMT

Nothing terribly bad happened last weekend, so I guess that means my sense of forboding was unwarranted. Work went fine, class went fine, the only hitch was that even a small twenty minute schedule deviation was enough to force a cancellation in my happy hour plans. I guess that's a sign that one's life is jam packed with industriousness.

The girl got home at 4:00, and we had a happy hour celebration then. That sounds like a good friday afternoon routine. We will need routines to get us through this period of intense productivity demands. Incidentally, after years of living downtown closely with the long term homeless, I noticed that that was a major factor in homelessness, generally overall, the homeless are the people who can't or won't (usually "won't", but "won't" eventually leads to "can't") stick to a routine. Can't go to bed at the same time (or the same place) every night, can't wake up at the same time every morning. Can't do the same thing everyday.

After our relaxing happy hour, we headed for the surburbs, to the cinema stadium. We seem to be at our best at the movies lately-- happy, carefree, in love. We see the matinee ($8), and get the candy, popcorn and soda package deal-- ($11). We've been sticking to family movies and light comedies-- not my first choice, but when she's happy, I'm happy.

Saturday we got started early, as usual. Now that the girl has as much ambition as I do, she doesn't take any prodding at all. We were out of the house by 9:00am, headed for her place to finish her cabinets. I got started while she made breakfast. We had an elaborate breakfast (now another routine, it seems) of swedish pancakes w/ lingonberries, and a vegetable cheese omelet.

The work was slow going. When we found our cheap rollers were leaving little fuzzys on the cabinet doors, we felt overwhelmed. At least I finished sanding the actual cabinets, and everything is cleaned and wiped down. I also figured out what is wrong with the cold water in her kitchen sink- a problem I thought was beyond me.

We went to the neighborhood hardware store to get a few items, and then the grocery store. Then I drove around aimlessly for a bit, getting some practice in.

Sunday was a big day. We started with church at St. Mary's Orthodox Cathedral. Then doughnuts and coffee at the local scandinavian bakery. Another routine, I hope. Then we sped over to pick up a gift for our friend's baby dedication service. Then off to the outer rung suburbs to make it just under the wire. We wrapped the gift in the car, even.

The service was nice and so was the potluck afterwards. I like Jena's family, and it's nice to have friends. I should get more.

Sunday afternoon went by so quickly, and that was what we had earmarked for study time. Neither of us got as much done as we had needed, so we were left thinking that we need to outlaw any future fun. I hope we don't need to be so drastic, but we still certainly need to take care of our time.

unease and dread

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 17:22:24 GMT

I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right today. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a feeling of dread, but certainly one of unease.

Maybe I'm concerned about my house building plans. I read a good article about the housing bubble's impact on the economy--and why it is headed for a fall In california' it declared, "THE MEDIAN NEW HOME PRICES FELL 3.4%, YoY, IN DECEMBER 2005, THE LARGEST SUCH DROP SINCE 1970". You can read it at http://www.financialsense.com/fsu/editorials/jain/2006/0130.html

Maybe I'm concerned about school. Biology is really stating to get difficult now that we are on cell theory. I've got a lot of work to do, which takes me away from all the other demands on my time.

Maybe I'm concerned about this upcoming family reunion. I have no idea how smoothly it will go, or how uncomfortable it will be.

Maybe I'm concerned about my relationship with the girl. I think things have never gone better, but she still isn't sure we have a future together. While most of my "free" time has been monopolized by school, most of her free time has been monopolized by studying for the GMAT. And we have such different study styles it's hard to work together.

Maybe I'm concerned about the coming war with Iran. It will certainly happen, in my opinion, and it will certainly bankrupt us, and alter all of our futures. I'm feeling the urgency.

Maybe I'm feeling the looming obligations of Valentine's day. I'm usually not very good at getting romantic gifts or setting up romantic events, and this year will undoubtedly by no different. And it's on a Tuesday.

Maybe I'm nervous that my friends and family will like me less as I become a more open paleocon.

Maybe I'm nervous about my upcoming driver's test.

Maybe I'm nervous about all the home improvement projects on the Girl's house.

Maybe I'm nervous about not reaching my physical fitness goals.

Maybe I'm nervous about doing my taxes.

Improving my diet.

Going to church.

That negative balance I left in a bank account in 1995. Maybe they have just kept adding fees every month. Maybe I owe a quarter million dollars by now.

EDIT::: That I haven't talked to Kristi since Holly and I got back together.

Partytime!!!!

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 18:20:34 GMT

I have my Grandmother's surprise 90th birthday party near on the horizon. I wrote about this a few entries back- my mother whom I haven't seen in more than ten years will be there.

I got a somewhat panicked voicemail message form my aunt who is organizing the event. She was uncertain whether she should tell my mother if I (and the girl) would be attending. She finally decided to tell my mother, because my mother will be helping to pay for the event. But after she sent off an email telling my mother the complete guest list, she heard from a friend of hers who is similarly estranged. Her friend counseled my aunt to give me a chance to tell my mother I would be attending. It was too late for that, and my aunt was very upset about this.

I told her that the last thing I wanted was for her to stress about this. I wouldn't have been interested in telling my mother I was going, but I don't feel any need to hide it either. Whatever I can do to minimize any dramatics. We're going to have to figure out how to function with each other sooner or later, because my half-siblings are getting old enough for weddings and graduations. I won't have anything to say to her-- unless its a polite smile and a whispered "don't fuck with me, whore".

My coworkers are amazed that a mother could go ten years without attempting to contact her estranged son. I think it is as good of an admission of guilt that I'm likely to ever receive. A coworker asked me to speculate what I might do if my mother came up to me and apologized, and wanted to pursue a normal relationship with her. The truth is I'm not really interested in anything like that, and I can't see what good it would do anyway.

The gift subscriptions I got for my friends and family have arrived, according to Jena, so I'm eagerly awaiting word on how they have been welcomed and received. I'm already plotting the next round-- including my family members, especially my brother and sisters, on my mom's side of the family. I won't fail to get their addresses at the party.

getting there from there

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 16:01:56 GMT

The home improvement projects keep moving forward. With growing inertia. Laura (my exgf) wasn't critical at all last weekend, quite the reverse- she was very impressed. In fact, the girlfriend was actually glad for Laura's initial criticism, as it got our asses in gear.

And the girlfriend and I have no intention of letting up. We have her house on the front burner now: we need to finish those cabinets! At my house, I still have a few projects worth tackling, but that desire is tempered by the certainty that a total remodelling and renovation is in the works. No need to paint, or sand the floors, or the trim, etc.

But I still can re-organize the basement, especially my food storage area. For that I'll need to buy food-grade plastic bins. In the last year I've amassed a good sized food reserve. Mostly grains that have been on sale at different times- oatmeal, pasta, rice, flour. Unfortunately, I never really thought about how an unopened box of spaghetti is still fair game for little bugs. Yesterday I learned, the hard way, that they can even get into unopened oatmeal packs. If I find one more bul weevil in my breakfast, I might as well try out for Fear Factor.

If it weren't for school, we'd probably do some each day.

I wasn't able to get ahold of Shawn, so I just went ahead and ordered the boundary and topographical survey. I hope it was the right thing to do-- they've already started.

Also, chirogrl has her baby's dedication on Sunday, and on Saturday I'm hoping we will go back to Ikea. I foresee Ikea could become a problem- It is eay to think one can buy their way into happiness, and out of problems. As in "something's missing, let's go buy something". No, only effort and hard work will satisfy me. And maybe not even that, maybe at the bottom it is a spiritual thirst. Maybe Holiness and purity is what is really missing.

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:58:01 GMT

So we drove to Stillwater (I drove actually), and checked into the famous Lowell Inn around 2:00 Saturday. We made dinner reservations for 8:00pm, and looked forward to a nice little vacation until then.

We unpacked. There is something worthwhile about taking the effort to unpack totally and put your clothes into a hotel room closet and dresser, puting your tolietries into the bathroom drawers.

She wanted to nap, but we hadn't eaten, either. Her idea was to go the restaurant for lunch, first, then nap. Then see the town. I didn't see where the spa fit into Saturday, as it closed at 4:00pm, but I didn't press the issue. This was her weekend, more of less. The restaurant looked deserted (it was 3:00pm), so we just walked around taking pictures. She pushed a "DO NOT PUSH" button, and a big wood door separating a party room started closing, fast.

Actually, Let's wait for the pictures!!!

I can see Wisconsin from here

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 11:49:30 GMT

I'm Livejournaling at 5:30 in the morning at the Lowell Inn in Stillwater, on the banks of St. Croix.

A quick google brought me to the website for the Minnesota Association of Professional Surveyors, which gave me a list of phone numbers of member businesses in my area. I called each and every one for an estimate. I learned alot about surveying in the process. It turns out I need a boundary survey and, for the home building to follow, I'll need a topographical survey. around $1000. I think I know who to whom I'll give the bid, but for some reason I hesitated. That's probably for the best, should be consulting with Shawn. What would I do without him?

I think next time I need bids, I'll call the ones out of the area first-- for practice and to glean what information I need ahead of time before I start calling the real candidates.

It's been a long week, and by Friday I was deadbeat. I went to class, for sure, but when I got home I resisted the girls attempts to get us out of the house. She wanted to enjoy the global warming, but I dragged my feet until it was dark. Kind of unfair of me, I know, and I'm sorry.

But we got work done and were asleep by 9:00pm. And up by 7:00am. And at 'em.

We wanted to get out of the house and to Stillwater by noon. For Christmas I got her a gift certificate to a health spa in the small historic town of Stillwater, and for her birthday, I got a room at a really nice hotel.

So we started cleaning and packing right away. I had to make sure I wasn't rushing her, like I tend to do. I remember during our Montana trip last August, the train made a twenty minute stop in Minot, ND. We got out to see the town, and I rushed her quite unreasonably on the way back. We managed to get on the top of the hill, looking down at the train we needed to board, with five minutes to spare.

I said, "Good, we should make it. As long as another train doesn't come by and park in front of the Amtrak, cutting us off. We'd better hurry."

"How do you come up with this stuff?", she replied.

So, this being her Christamas and her birthday present, I resolved to pamper and acquiese to her leisurely internal schedule. When I noticed something was bothering her early on, I asked what was the matter?

"I'm hungry, and you're gonna get it in about a minute, Bub!!!"

We decided to go to the grocery store and Home Depot (ugh, I know) to pick up some supplies. She'd cook breakfast while I installed a television wall mount in the exercise room. Done and done, breakfast was a delicious vegetable egg dish, and my exercise room is now complete.

And we cleaned like no tomorrow. Laura will have no cause for sniping, I beleive. At least about the refrigerator. The girlfriend tackled that, and it looks factory fresh. I cleaned, swept, dusted, and swept again. Can't wait to get home today!!

We got on the road late, about 1:00pm. Well worth it, though that meant there was more traffic. Oh well, I need the practice.

I'm getting tired, and this is getting long. I'll continue the tale tomorrow.

Up and Down Day

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 13:53:39 GMT

I had such an up and down day yesterday.

Work was down. It wasn't the work, actually, it was the crowd. The waiting room was full of screaming kids and screaming adults. I suppose if you're waiting to hear the results of a transplant, you should get to behave however you want, but have some courtesy for the other families who may be trying to quietly wait for their loved ones.

I have so many irons in the fire these days I tend to check my home voicemail frequently. I got a message from Laura saying that she'll be absent from school, and would I please pick up her homework for her? That was a down.

She only lives 1.5 miles from me, but she lives 3 miles from my workplace. actually, my home, her home, and the hospital form a big triangle, and so I thought I could outsmart Pythagoras by shortcutting my way there. Bikes aren't allowed on 280, and being on the wrong side of the tracks is no fun.

40 minutes and several out of the way jaunts later, I arrived at her house, and was ready for the last 1.5 mile leg of my trip. I filled up my tires at the gas station, and starting thinking about what I would do if I got that job. I thought about the coming war with Iran, and what Gary Brecher said in his super war preview : "Remember Gulf War I? Remember those pitiful fags crawling up to our soldiers to surrender on their hands and knees, sobbing like babies? Two years of occupation by Bush's morons has turned those cowards into fearless kamikazes in Oldsmobiles.

So just imagine what the Iranians, the original Islamic suicide squads, will do when we invade. There'll be traffic jams, ten-mile backups, outside every US base, thousands of car bombers honking and changing lanes trying to get to the front of the line and make that final commute to Paradise. It'll be like the San Diego freeway on a Monday morning"

I thought about my home improvement plans-- and my best loan options-- seeing how the economy will tank, and meterial costs are steadily rising. I thought about raising a family, and what kind of family the girl and I would raise.

I thought about the important but simple thing my Papa taught me, especially priorities-- like when the girl was worried about the functionality of her alarm clock, I was able to say "hey, its worth it to get two or even three alarm clocks-- compared to losing your job by being late, it's worth it!".

I thought about how that has paid off for me, because a big reason I've done so well without a degree is my punctuality discipline, which is certainly due to my papa's suggestions. Which is funny, because as a farmer, and as a taxi driver, and as a lawyer's aide, he has always chosen jobs with no set schedule, no need for punctuality or a regimented schedule.

I thought about my school, and how I should learn to apply the same attention to self- discipline to my studies as I do my work. Maybe I should appoach college as I would job training.

KABLUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY

My tire blew. I had to walk home a mile and a half with my bike on my shoulder. That was a down.

I got home and started to work on my paper. It wasn't as hard as I thought, especially because I had Laura's paper to guide me. That was an up.

The girl called, and said she was on her way. I wasn't perpared for that, I had homework to do. That was a down.

Then the city of Minneapolis called, and told me the next few steps I'll need to take regarding my housebuilding projects. That was an up.

The the girlfriend arrived, that was an up and a down.

She gave me a ride to school, that was an up.

I had to walk home without a bike, that was a down.

She came back after her class, that was an up.

Up and down.

War!!

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 18:34:25 GMT

So I did something crazy and a little off the wall yesterday. I was checking the news about the impending war. After reading Patrick Buchanan's latest column in antiwar.com, I see that war will happen sooner rather than later.

The Pacific Northwest will be the best place to ride out the collapse a world war will beget, and so I started to look at the kind of jobs I could get if I moved up there. In one particular mid-sized metro area was a director of hospital admissions job. I applied on-line. Why not?

I know that because I don't have a degree, I'm not qualified. That's the whole reason I stepped down from my supervisor position and went back to school-- if I had a degree I would be a very strong candidate for a director position.

But who knows? As it stands it's still worth a shot. I interview very, very well.

If I do get the job, I will have to make drastic changes. I'd have to drop out of school, fast. I'd have to sell my house, fast. The girl and I would have to get more serious, fast.

At least she's on board. Thank God for that.

ye mighty

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:50:59 GMT

I feel so good I can hardly stand it! Actually, that's not true. I, and therefore the girlfriend, have been so busy we've been short of sleep, and last night was the worst of them all. Loki was the main culprit.

But getting work done has certain benefits that outweigh even being so tired. At any given point yesterday, we had to resist the temptation to drop everything and go see a movie. Sanding cabinets isn't fun, at least it isn't entertaining or exciting. If we had given in, we would have had way more fun, but on Sunday night we would have been depressed and dispairing. Instead, we were elated and relieved. And maybe a little high on fumes.

That's not to say we didn't have fun, too. Friday night we went to her friends house for pizza and in my case a couple drinks. I didn't overdo it on either count. Come to think of it, we had lots of good food this weekend, mostly homemade-- but on Sunday we went to a fast food place I'd never heard of : Culver's. I think their marketing gimmick is "we don't care about health". They actually do bill themselves as "Home of the Butterburger", and they have a fattier version of ice cream called "frozen custard". I'm glad I didn't get the 4-piece chicken dinner (2114 calories) with the turtle mocha shake (1773). You can get the nutrition information here : http://www.culvers.com/AdminToolFiles/Documents/Document167/Nutrition.pdf

We also watched the 1996 movie Michael Collins, about the famous leader of the IRA. Great movie-- just as inspiring as Braveheart or The Patriot, if you ask me. When the girl went to her weekend job, I watched "Siege at Ruby Ridge" a mediocre effort about the Randy Weaver tragedy starring Randy Quaid and Laura Dern.

I got to drive around quite a bit Saturday-- we needed to go to various hardware stores to get different supplies. We try not to shop at Home Depot: Its founder, and Co-Chairman of the Board Bernard Marcus is an active zionist. He is on the board of directors of Emet, the Pro-Israel Media "War Room" whose function is to ensure that all media in the US stays biased in favour of Israel. But it's hard not to shop at Home Depot.

I didn't work on homework much this weekend. I'll have to correct that.

"Sand the door, Bjorn-san"

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 18:30:42 GMT

LJing on a weekend. That's rare for me these days, and I think that's a good sign. I'm just taking a needed break form working on my girlfriend's kitchen cabinets.

I've been sanding them since 8:30 this morning. Almost done, but half done is well begun, as they say. Or is it well begun is half done?

I can totally see why Laura and I broke up soon after I gave up on my own kitchen remodeling project back in January 1999. In fact she gave me an ulitimatum, and I missed the deadline. Home improvement projects are a somewhat accurate window into some one's inner character.

Speaking of Laura, sure enough, I've had to tolerate a little bit of sniping from her during class. As you can imagine, especially after telling her I was helping the girl with her kitchen remodelling. She made it clear she found the irony. I tried to explain I've come a long way in the seven years since then. I have.

On the other hand, Laura has helped me out considerably lately, and I would like to return the favor. I'll just try to dodge the sniping.

Back to work.

Booooooooooo!

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 13:57:09 GMT

This hasn't happened in a long time. I lost a whole post. It was a detailed post about my horrible no-good very bad day. Usually, when I lose an entry, it's impossible to rewrite. But yesterday was so bad, I can recapture it perfectly.

It started at work. An old high school classmate came in for surgery. I had just been criticized by one of our medical staffmembers before I noticed it was her. I'm not sure she recognized me, but as I registered her, I felt like saying something like "Really I'm a supervisor, I'm just taking a couple years off to get my degree!!". I stayed quiet, but i think I had some kind of mild anxiety attack. On the plus side, she looks alot better than she did in high school, and she's married with children, so good for her!!

Then a patient asked me a medical question, and I said that he'd have to ask the Doctor. He said "I wasn't sure how high on the ladder you were. You're on the bottom rung , I guess". Yeah. That's me. Ol' Bottom rung Bjorn.

Then when I was on the phone with my collegiate advisor, the "Child, Famliy, Life" nurse, who fulfills a role for the children in the surgery unit not unlike that of a clown, squirted me with water. She didn't use a flower lapel or a bottle of seltzer, but a small super soaker. Very funny.

Then I broke the ink ribbon.

"Why are you so crabby?" I was asked by my coworkers.

"Maybe I'm nervous about my first day of school"

And I was. Especially after such an inauspicious beginning. My Biology lab went well, and the Biology lecture went reasonably well. I sat next to my ex-girlfriend Laura, which may have been a mistake after all. Remember when I was so surprised there was talking during my Algebra lectures? And I've been in big trouble for shushing the girl during movies. That kind of thing just drives me crazy. Well, Laura's a talker.

And the city bureaucrat never got back to me.

Important day, really

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 15:19:00 GMT

I want to have a business degree, my Minneapolis house prepared and sold, and be settled in the Pacific Northwest, all before the U.S. goes to war with Iran. That's alot of work in a limited amount of time.

We got alot done yesterday-- we built the work table and rearranged the new office-- it looks very professional. I hope I can develop good paper filing habits.

I still have to arrange my exercise room-- for that I'd like to mount a t.v. to the wall, so I can look up and keep good posture while I run.

I also have to arrange my downstairs living room-- for that I'd like to refinish the basement- new carpet, new walls, new ceiling. In 1999 I spent $900 on new padding and carpeting, but I got the cheapest Home Depot had to offer, and it isn't faring well with 7 years of heavy use. I guess for 7-8 years it hasn't been such a bad deal.

I also want to remodel my kitchen, bathroom, and build a second story. In terms of the economy-of-scale, I should build a second house at the same time I improve my first.

I find out today if the city will let me divide my lot and let me build a second house. Today is also the first day of spring semester. My ex-girlfriend happens to be in my biology lecture, remember. That will be interesting.

Ikea is fun, Ikea is serious

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 16:25:35 GMT

I recently moved my bed upstairs, and that crowded my excercise equipment out of the spare bedroom. I thought I could use Shawn's old room as both an office and a work-out room, but it's too small. The ceiling is too low to use the treadmill downstairs, and I don't like the idea of moving my office downstairs, either. People say it's haunted.

I was complaining to the girl about my house being too small (I still have both my arms and legs so I guess I should be happy), and how I don't feel ready for the start of the semester. She suggested I move the living room downstairs. It seemed just too unusual-- but when she questioned me on my priorities, I knew she had a point. Is watching "Who's the Boss" re-runs or is exercising and getting my degree more important?

So Friday night (after seeing a movie), we began a total reorganization. The first thing I wanted to take care of was consoldating my bedroom into one location. I had two beds set up, one upstairs and one downstairs, and dressers and clothes hung up all over the place. The dresser in my upstairs bedroom was kind of an junk art piece my old roommate Tammy found in an alley. It was missing one of three drawers, so I took a deep breath and I've let it go.

Saturday the girl and I got a replacement at Ikea, a big 8 drawer dresser. heh. Various shopping (grocery, books, furniture, etc) took half the day, and assembling the dresser took the other half-- but we still found time to prepare lasagne and watch the Fantastic Four. It was good, but I prefer Roger Corman's version

Sunday we woke up early to go to church-- but they changed the time on us, so we found ourselves with a half hour to kill. But then we realized that the Lutheran church by her house was having a pancake breakfast fundraiser, so we could kill two birds with one stone.

And I further cemented the idea that the American Orthodox church is for me. Lutheranism seems to be a pale shadow of what is was when I was young-- it is half-heartedly trying to become a convention center kareoke spiritual therapy church, while keeping a small part of its old form for fun. Which seems quite insincere.

After church we went home and we started moving furniture around. We moved the couch and armchair, t.v. and stand, the coffee table, all downstairs. Most of the office furniture (bookshelves, desk, file cabinet, etc.) into the living room. Then we went back to Ikea to pick up a nice work table and chairs for the center of the room.

Can I organize it before school tomorrow? The countdown begins.

Slut

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 17:00:28 GMT

I always knew that in order to have any kind of normal relationship with my family, I would have to run into my mom eventually. It looks like it will be sooner rather than later. My grandmother's 90 birthday is coming up, and my aunt is organizing a surprise party.

I haven't seen much of my mom since 1992. A handful of times at first, but she moved out of the house not long after I did. I visited her in her first apartment once or twice. I never let her visit me in mine.
The last time I saw her was in 1995-- at my grandfather's funeral.

And I don't miss her a bit. She was terrible. She constantly berated me, even going so far as to tell me she hated me. It never really bothered me, I knew from age four that she had serious emotional problems, and I resolved to escape and not look back.

Actually, I do hold it against her that she tried to turn me against my papa. She would slander and defame him as much as she could, and she persuaded me to change my stepfather's name (and it was ridiculous to have a big swede like me assume a slavic name). Worse was the made-up conspiratorial dramatics I would have to particpate in-- I would get debriefed by her after visits with my papa, and in her zeal she would try her best to lead me into making up stories. And she would make me rehearse scenarios if my papa tried to kidnap me or abuse me; she had all sorts of contingency plans and the like.

To be honest, the false sense of danger was kind of fun and exciting. And of course, I was rewarded for going along with this.

I had to grow up in two or more different realites.

Alot of children of divorces go through this, and it's no fun. That's why I hate it when single parent households are romaniticized.

And, to be honest, I hold it against her that she killed my dogs.

But in cutting ties with my mother, I also cut ties with that whole side of my family. I haven't seen much of any of that side of my family since my grandfather's funeral.

I was fortunate enough to have gotten up to see my grandpa twice before he died. I saw my grandma once or twice afterwards, in spring 1997, but when I bought my house, I didn't keep in touch. My aunt and Grandma came over around Christmas time 2002 and 2003, but I've been up to her small lake town four times in last year's drive to re-establish familial bonds.

I have had less luck with my siblings. I haven't seen my youngest sister since she and my ex stepdad came over in 1998. She was a still a little girl then, now she's a sophomore in college. It's a toss up who will be first to graduate of our generation to graduate, huh? I've seen my brother most of all-- sometimes visiting him at work now and again, and he helped me roof last year. I saw my middle sister twice last year.

How will I react upon seeing my mom for the first time in a decade? Maturelly and gracefully. I suppose if anything I'll ask her if she feels as if she has anything for which to apologize, but I don't really need an apology. Even if I had one I wouldn't want anything to do with her. Slut.

Another day, another step

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 17:32:41 GMT

We’ve been working on home improvement, albeit slowly, both on my house and the girl’s house. I’d like to snowball up to actually building another house on my double lot. I talked to a man at my title-holding corporation (the folks that hold your deed after you sign the sale papers) about splitting my property into two plots, with two titles.

Sometimes it’s just a simple matter of dividing the papers, but in this case, my garage is on one side and my house on the other. The title guy told me I’d need permission from my municipality. I then talked to a city guy, and the first thing he wanted to know was what I planned to do.

“Are you planning on building it and moving in or are you planning on building it and selling it?” He spoke with a slow, bureaucratic voice dripping with self-assured enunciation.

“Well, maybe I’m going to build it and sell it, or build it and move in, or maybe move and sell both, or maybe I’ll live in both—I have a lot of stuff! What difference does it make?”

He answered in a voice that could only be described as nefarious, “Oh, it makes a lot of difference!!!”

“!”

“I’ll take a look at your house, Mr. Postumus, and when I do I’ll give you a telephone call. I’ll tell you if your lot is up to our codes and standards.”

So I’m to hear from him on Monday. Everyday, another step.

To what end? Could be----- Idaho?!!! Here’s what Survivalblog.com says about it:

Plusses: Low Very low crime rate. (For example, it ranks second from the bottom in car thefts of the 50 states.) Low property taxes. Inexpensive building permits. Minimally intrusive government. Inexpensive car registration ($20 to $50 per year, plus a one-time-only $15 plate fee.) Low car insurance rates. Low health insurance rates. Extremely low home insurance rates. (An average of $326 per year. Ranks #50 in the country!) The most wilderness area in any of the 48 Continental United States. (Only Alaska has more.) 21.6 million forested acres. Minimal gun laws. Class 3 guns (machineguns short barreled rifles and shotguns, and suppressors) are legal to own after the $200 Federal tax and background check. Open carry of handguns is legal and fairly commonplace. CCW permits must be issued unless someone has a prior criminal record. (“Non-discretionary.”) No CCW permit is required for concealed carry outside of city limits. Vehicular carry of loaded guns is legal and very common. Minimally regulated home schooling. Low population density. Low elevation portions of the state have a fairly mild climate. Hunting and fishing are excellent in many parts of the state. By 2025, Idaho is projected to be the 40th most populous with 1.7 million people. (It is currently the 39th most populous state.) Affordable property: The median home price for all of Idaho is $105,403. One useful web site: Idaho Department of Commerce Community Profiles.

Minuses: Has a relatively high state income tax. Sadly, 63.7% of Idaho’s lands are owned by federal government. (Mostly National Forest and BLM land.) But at least that provides a "really big back yard" for hunting and cutting firewood. Cold winters at the higher elevations. (Look for property in the low river valleys if you can’t stand snow!) Low wages compared to most coastal states.